Anamnesis
by rathykins
Summary: Gil's memories of his time with Raam are fuzzy and confused. Raamganas recounts what he can remember to help Gil gain back his lost past. GilxRaam fluff. Rated T just in case.
1. Life Is Worth Living

_Who else agrees that GilxRaam needs a bit more love? And just for the record, I like to use 'Raamganas' instead of 'Laamgarnus' mainly because I want to avoid picturing Lamb Chop from Barney while I am writing (because my imagination is that odd)._

_Disclaimer: The following characters are the property of Mineko Ohkami._

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**Life Is Worth Living**

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You were standing there in front of me, your eyes nervous and unsure, your lips drawn into a slight pout as you worried your lower lip with your teeth, and your hands fidgeted with the hem of my shirt that dwarfed your small frame and fell to your thighs. It was such an adorable sight. Your sudden glare at my amusement only earned you a few chuckles, probably not what you had intended.

I don't think you ever understood my true intentions. I probably seemed like an annoying weirdo when I dressed you up and teased you relentlessly. But to see so many emotions from you was enough to give my life meaning. And I _loved_ it when you would open up to me; just let yourself be yourself.

You were **never** my pet; **never** my toy; **never** my slave. And I am sorry if my pushiness ever made you feel that way. I just wanted to give you back everything you had ever lost; to mend your broken soul; to see the color of life radiate your tanned skin; to take away the scars that would forever mar your precious body.

Even if you had been the one to take my life, I would have forgiven you in a heartbeat. In the brief moments we shared together, you took away my loneliness, filling the void that had once plagued my entire existence.

And now, where my life draws to a close, yours opens to the beginning of something magnificent. Make me proud, Kitten. I will be patiently waiting for you at the end of your journey.

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_Leave a review? It's a tad hungry right now (wait, it always is, the little pig) and would appreciate your loving attention._


	2. Say My Name Softly

_Since I already had this typed up on my computer, I figured I might as well add it. It is a bit longer than the first chapter (not really chapters here, but I'll refer to them as such to simplify things), but that is because this is the first actual... well, story._ _I guess you could consider the first chapter an introduction of sorts. Anyways, I had fun writing this, and its one of the few things I've actually been satisfied with in a while._

Disclaimer: The following characters are the property of Mineko Ohkami.

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**Say My Name Softly**

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I was quietly cleaning up the house one afternoon while you napped in the bedroom. Now that I think about it, I was probably humming, occasionally wigging my butt in the way that never failed to draw a few small giggles from you. I always was rather silly for a demon, but it seems you brought the fool out in me. 

I think I had just finished stoking the fire when I heard some soft noises coming from the bedroom. I paused my whole being and listened closely. A few more of the mysterious sounds reached my attentive ears; it almost sounded like somebody was whispering. I felt my excitement soar at the thought of you finally speaking. You seemed to be a silent and withdrawn person by nature, and I could tell just by looking into your eyes that you were afraid to talk, so I hadn't bothered you about talking at all.

My curiosity encouraged my feet to softly pad to the bedroom door so I could look through the crack in the doorway. I usually left the door slightly ajar to reassure you of my presence, but that day I was truly thankful that it had come to bear a more useful purpose.

Once my eyes had adequately adjusted to the darkness of the room, I noticed that you were sitting up and, oddly enough, positioned so that you were facing the headboard instead of the doorway. I carefully watched as you gripped the top of the headboard until your knuckles turned white and you placed your forehead against the cool wood. Worry skittered across my heart and a rushed blur of thoughts flashed through my mind. Were you ill? Did you just awake from a nightmare? Were you in pain? Were you having a breakdown?

My fears were assuaged as your knuckles and shoulders simultaneously relaxed and a deep sigh of frustration rushed out from your beautiful lips. You then took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled it as you pulled away from the headboard and sat up in a relaxed stance. That's when I heard those mysterious sounds again, only this time they were much more clear and I finally knew where they were coming from.

"Uh…ruh…" You spoke in the shakiest, most unsure voice I have ever heard. And that's when I realized that there was something I had been wrong about. Sure you were a quiet creature by nature, but it should have occurred to me how odd it was that you never spoke. I had merely assumed that you chose not to speak because of your characteristic shyness around me.

I suddenly felt utterly stupid; I had made yet another foolish assumption. I was good at that, even though you probably don't remember. Of course you had lost the ability, and probably the courage, to speak. After your ordeal, it made complete and total sense. Yet, I never did ask you about it after this incident to clear up things. It is most likely that you made the decision to cease talking for reasons that only you could know.

What happened next is something I will never forget. My heart must have skipped a few beats because one moment it felt motionless and the next it was rapidly beating against my chest. I had begun to think I had imagined the word you had uttered, but then, as if you had read my mind, you spoke once again.

"Rrr… rrraaaa… mmm. Rrraaamm." You seemed to cheer up considerably after that. In fact, you looked excited, an emotion I had never seen you display before.

And while you flopped onto your back, a content expression settling across your face and a small smile gracing your lips, my heart clenched up tightly with an emotion I hadn't felt in ages.

All you had done was said my name, your first word, but that was all it took. I was completely falling for you and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

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_The review button says, "Feed me! Rawr!"_


	3. An Arch Nemesis

_Finally, an update! Sorry for the long wait, but I just had to get school out of the way, and then I didn't feel like writing for the longest time. I'm really not sure where the idea for this story came from, but I'm glad I ran with it. I made sure it was a bit longer than the previous two, and, of course, it's sweet. Er, at least I think/hope so. Also, for the record, there's enough depressing GilxRaam fics out there already that I don't feel the need to add to them, so no worries there. Thanks for reading and for the comments! Enjoy!_

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**An Arch Nemesis**

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There was something utterly wrong with the whole situation. And I knew exactly what that something was. It was a bit silly on my part. And it was my fault entirely.

You lie on the opposite side of the bed, curled up, facing away from me, and snuggling up to a cat I had bought for you on my last trip into town. What exactly was the problem with this? That animal had taken my place, and it damned well knew it. I swear, as I studied its face in the dark, it grinned back at me as if to say, "Gil's cuddling _me_ and oh if it doesn't feel wonderful!" I could have ripped out that vile creature's stuffing had it not been clutched to you so tightly.

But that thing could snuggle you all it wanted for now. You would soon be all mine once again.

-/-

I stuck my tongue out at it because I simply could not resist. I refused to let myself feel ridiculous for the action. The animal currently in my hands clearly despised me as much as I did him.

I opened the top, right drawer of my dresser and unceremoniously dropped it inside. I closed the drawer, confident you would never look there. There were hundreds of places I could have hid the creature, short of tossing it out, but something convinced me that its current hiding spot was enough.

-/-

I could not help but glare at you. Actually, I was not glaring at _you_, but at that _thing_ in your arms. How had you found that cat? Granted, I had hidden it in a rather childish spot, but I had never seen you even interested in what was in my dresser drawers.

Perhaps your curiosity had coincidentally gotten the best of you. Or maybe the thing had decided to make noise. A possibility I had failed to think of beforehand. Now I wished I had decided to retire as early as you had, convinced I could have prevented your discovery of the cat.

I silently cursed the cat repeatedly in my head, for I refused to blame you, as I quietly got into bed. _It _had somehow managed to find itself curled up in your arms once again, those cold, beady eyes teasing me like they had done the night before. But no worries, I was already formulating a new plan, and this time I would come out the victor.

-/-

The next day, I once again hid that infuriating cat you had taken such a liking to. And this time I would surely get the last laugh.

-/-

You did not speak, for despite that day I had overheard you saying my name, you had yet to actually use your voice in front of me voluntarily. But words were not needed for me to understand what you were trying to convey.

Your lips trembling, you looked around the room for your beloved pet, lifting up the sheets, looking under the bed and opening the drawers of my dresser. I could now confidently guess how the cat had been discovered the night before.

Seeing the distressed state you were in, although I could not even comprehend it, I just could not provoke it any further. I immediately crumbled, and found myself walking towards the linen closet as you dejectedly climbed into bed. After grabbing the object of my frustrations, I joined you, plopping the cat onto your head.

You probably would have squealed in delight, had you been more vocal at the time, judging by the look on your face. Instead you hurriedly gathered the cat in your arms and surprised me as you turned over and gave me a generous hug, being mindful of the creature also in your arms. I simply chose to ignore the fact that the cat was also involved in this intimate moment, and it made the gesture all that much sweeter.

Later that night, I felt no remorse in glaring harshly at the animal in your arms. I was right back at square one. I was _not_ jealous. This was just _unfair_. And I was _still_ going to get the last laugh. As soon as that creepy cat quit staring at me long enough for me to get to sleep.

-/-

I scowled at the cat for the fourth night in a row. My plan had been ingenious; clearly working up until that damned animal had interfered yet again.

I had purposefully lit the fireplace less during the day, making sure the house was chillier than usual. I had even stolen your socks before bed, swiping them from your feet as you took a moment to yawn on the couch, in the hopes that at least your cold feet would lead you to snuggle up to me.

And just as I had hoped, as we went to bed, you had curled up to me. Sure you were sort of using me to get to my body heat, but the positives certainly outweighed any of the negatives.

But it was all short lived when, as soon as you had warmed up, you scooted back to your side of the bed and pulled my arch nemesis into your embrace. I was whole-heartedly convinced that thing had purposefully not joined us under the covers, whimpering to you of how cold it was, appealing to your kind soul, and of course you had given in.

That cat would surely be the death of me. And it would enjoy every minute of it.

-/-

It finally dawned on me; the perfect thing to do. I truly was an idiot.

-/-

If it was to be a compromise, then who was I to stop it? When we had gotten into bed earlier, I had waited until you were comfortable and situated, then gently shifted behind you and slid my arm over you. To my delight, you wriggled closer to me and soon fell into a relaxed sleep, a sweet smile every-so-slightly gracing your lips.

Sure the cat was still protectively held in your arms, but _you _were protectively held in_ my _arms and that's all that mattered to me.

-/-

Of course, I had to feel as if I had won, even I had truly not. As I was making up the bed the next morning, I picked up the stuffed cat, holding it so we could stare at each other. I laughed in its face, a laugh that seemed to say, "Ha! Who gets the last laugh now?"

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_Pray that I update faster this time. Sorry! But I must say reviews really do make my day, and encouraged me to continue… even if it did take me a while. 3  
_


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